rainbows are supposed to make people happy by Linda Crate

i don’t want to lose her love
so i stand in this
limbo

avoid conversations
that could come up, holding my breath
hoping a poem isn’t read
that leads to questions;

i know this should be easy
but i cannot imagine it will be—

my family loves me,
but what if they reject my
rainbow heart?
what if they say something
more wounding than
“queer girl”
like a stranger shouted at me
one day on my way to work?

i want to be honest,
but i am terrified;
don’t want to lose the people
who love and support me most—

rainbows are supposed to make people
happy,
but i am scared mine will drive
a wedge between all the people i love and me;

i want my family & i want them to want me, too.

Linda M. Crate’s works have been published in numerous magazines and anthologies both online and in print. She is the author of six poetry chapbooks, the latest of which is: More Than Bone Music (Clare Songbirds Publishing House, March 2019). She’s also the author of the novel Phoenix Tears (Czykmate Books, June 2018). Recently she has published two full-length poetry collections Vampire Daughter (Dark Gatekeeper Gaming, February 2020) and The Sweetest Blood (Cyberwit, February 2020).