I am but a Fly
Flies trapped in thin, white spider’s webs
feel more free
than I appear
This Venus fly trap
has lured me into its beautiful jaws-
Made me feel safe,
but now it points out all of my flaws.
Stuck to you, honey,
these strings are very attached.
Combing through our memories,
these tangled feelings now unpacked.
A package deal
seems very nice
cause you get two people
for only one price.
“We’re the same person”
destroyed my sense of self.
When I looked in the mirror
I looked like someone else.
It was you.
I became a carbon copy.
thinking “He’s so narcissistic,
now he’ll have to fucking love me.”
Spring Cleaning for the Mind
Spring comes back around and it’s time to deep clean my brain.
Organize my thoughts into their rightful places and clear away the cobwebs,
but what do I do with all of the things you left behind?
They’re sitting in a box in the back room of my mind, unused–
but, for some reason, I’m unable to throw them out.
When will I need to know that your favorite color is forest green
or that your favorite candy is sour brite crawlers?
The way you take your coffee and your favorite food being your mom’s potato soup
won’t help me pass an exam…
So why can’t I forget these thoughts?
Though you’re gone, your influence still lingers.
Cooking for two out of habit,
making too much food in the process.
Ordering pizza without black olives because to you
they taste like trash, even though they are my favorite topping.
Knowing how peaceful you look when you sleep
or how you like to wrap my hair around your finger
won’t save me in an emergency
but it’s information that I can most easily recall.
Maybe I should gather all of these memories into a box,
leave them on the side of the road with a sign that says,
“Free to a good home”. But…
for now, I’ll keep them in that back room
and pull them out from time to time.
Making sure to dust them and polish them until they shine.